How to Survive (and Thrive) During Winter in NYC

Whether you’re familiar with navigating a NYC winter or a newcomer feeling the frost for the first time, winter can stir a range of emotions and feelings. Licensed Mental Health Counselor Susie Lang (LMHC & NCC) reflects on ways to survive AND thrive emotionally amidst the colder months.

Why does the winter season make you feel lethargic, sad or, homesick? 

While there is so much to enjoy in NYC during the colder months, sometimes it’s a real challenge when there are moments of feeling homesick, sadness, and lacking enthusiasm and energy to go out. At this time, no doubt you’ll feel a long way from home as you make another transition to your NYC life. Common feelings and thoughts that you may experience could be about not being with family and good friends, missing the usual warm (and sometimes REALLY hot) weather, feeling as though there’s no-one here to celebrate with, or questioning whether the right decision was made in being here. For those of us who don’t manage a trip back to Australia over summer, keeping motivated is often challenging, particularly when it gets dark at 4:30PM. Sharing your own traditions and bringing a piece of your Australian culture to your new community can be a meaningful way to connect with others and create a sense of belonging. Exploring new opportunities that winter provides is always good. Have you ever been snow-shoeing upstate or ice-skating in Central Park? There are so many opportunities to explore that you wouldn’t have the chance to do back at home.

I thought social media was supposed to make us feel more connected. Why do I feel worse seeing posts from friends and family at home?

Ah, the joys and pains of social media. Social media allows you to stay connected, see updates on the lives of those you care about, and relive fond memories. However, it can also intensify feelings of homesickness and the fear of missing out (FOMO). Social media can trigger a sense of longing and emphasize the physical distance. If these feelings persist, consider finding a balance in your social media use. It might be helpful to limit your social media viewing, particularly anything that trigger negative emotions. In focusing on things that uplift you or connect you with your current community in NYC, while seeking opportunities to create new traditions and connections can help mitigate the impact of homesickness. Remember that adjusting to a new life in a different place takes time, and it’s okay to feel a range of emotions during this process. Seeking support from friends, engaging in local activities, and staying connected with loved ones in meaningful ways can contribute to a more positive experience as you navigate through these transitions.

What are two things I can do to help feel less lonely/more connected during this time of year?

• Reach out and share your feelings. Realize that these lonely and homesickness feelings are very normal. Acknowledging and normalizing your feelings of loneliness is an important first step. By realizing that these feelings are common, you can take away the stigma and open up to others about what you’re experiencing. Often we try to avoid them because they seem too depressive and you’re feeling alone. Call a new-found friend here, who will have at some point felt similarly. Talk honestly about how uncomfortable and uncertain these times are for you. I imagine you won’t be alone in this.    
• Engage in community events. Join an AWNY event—there are many throughout the year, often small in number, and you’ll usually find like-hearted women. If you’ve done that, take the initiative to invite someone to join you in experiencing other activities. Sharing activities and experiences with a friend can make them more enjoyable and help strengthen your sense of belonging in your new community.

How do I keep connected with friends and family at home, especially when I feel like they’ve forgotten about me?

They won’t have forgotten you. As you make adjustments to your chosen new way of life, they too will be making adjustments to their lives without you in it. Be open with your friends and family about your experiences. Instead of discussing your general feelings of loneliness or homesickness, share specific experiences, both positive and challenging, that you’ve encountered in NYC. This can make your situation more relatable to your family and friends. Other ways to stay connected include:

• Using technology to stay connected in more personal ways. Video calls, sharing photos, and even sending short videos to help bridge the physical distance and make your experiences more tangible for your loved ones. Show them glimpses of your daily life, your surroundings, and the people you’re meeting.  
• Finding ways to create shared activities/experiences with your family and friends. This can foster a sense of togetherness. For example, watching the same movie or TV show and discussing it afterward, participating in a virtual game night, cooking the same recipe simultaneously, having a meal together (your NYC dinner and their AUS breakfast the following morning).  
• Planning visits and reunions. Discussing future visits or planning for reunions can give everyone something to look forward to. Knowing that there are concrete plans for spending time together in the future can alleviate feelings of being forgotten and create a sense of anticipation for you and your family and/or friends. 

Where (and how) do I find local connections to help bridge loneliness and homesickness?

AWNY is one of the best ways to make local connections. As you transition into life in NYC, try to attend one of the many events AWNY organises. These range from small and intimate breakfasts, coffee/stroll catch-ups, cocktail hours and The Emotional Transition events to larger gatherings in local bars, parks and celebrations.  

Search Meetup for events that align with your interests. There are also many opportunities within Facebook groups, local classes and workshops, networking and co-working events. Say YES to invitations (even if they seem out of your normal interests). American Australian Association (AAA) organises lots of events and keep your ear out for word of mouth and personal introductions which can be a great way to ease into new social circles. 

On an end-note, through the transitions of settling into NYC life, what has really helped me, is to acknowledge that “I AM REALLY LIVING” while experiencing the highs AND the lows!  I hope that you are finding your way too, and that it’s really worth it for you.