Alone this Valentine’s Day? No smoochies in sight? Crippling under the weight of your own loneliness? I would say “Don’t Worry” but we both know that ship has sailed.
The very first Valentine was written by the saint himself before he got his head chopped off and the girl he sent it to got executed too so the vibes were pretty abysmal from the jump.
Aside from substance abuse, here are some options for your sad sorry self on this fateful holiday.
1. Scream into your pillow (best done without a full face of makeup)
2. Flip off the sun
“Could you just drop the act for one second? I get it. We all get it. You’re hot and literally glowing and I’m sure that feels great. The only thing we both have in common is that we’re both gassy. Don’t look at me like that.“
3. Angry strut down the street
- Get your clunkiest stompiest shoes
- I have platform heeled boots that fit the bill.
- I do believe that owning them has permanently altered my brain chemistry
- I have platform heeled boots that fit the bill.
4. You could break some stuff
Look, it’s not an exact science, but sometimes the best way to get through a cowabummer is to boink something until it breaks.
Rage Cage NYC is exactly what it sounds like. It’s a box where you break stuff. They give you protective gear as well as implements and inanimate victims (plates, wood, etc.) for smashing.
And here’s a moment for you lovebirds out there looking to support your loner friends. They have gift certificates. This is the perfect gift for anyone simmering with rage seeking to push against the confines of their perpetually disappointing existence. In other words, a great girl’s night out!
5. Throw a fit
6. Listen to some wronged woman music
She was literally just punched in the gut:
She’s really upset about the gut punch:
She has triumphed over the gut punch:
If you had fun with option 6, you could join in and:
7. Sing your heart out (wailing, screaming, or barking is also acceptable)
If you live in an apartment, this might be tricky. You could head to Korea Town and book out a room. Here’s the top karaoke places if that sounds good. If all else fails, refer to Option #1
Hopefully one of these enrichment activities make you feel better or at the very least, less alone with it all. There’s some days where I feel like the world is on the edge of discovering that I’m actually the most beautiful amazing gorgeous girl to ever grace the earth. Other times I feel like an eleven year old boy whose big sister thinks that his face makes her friends uncomfortable.
Whether I’m a prepubescent boy or Goddess Divine, it can be annoying or disappointing to be single, especially on Valentines Day. Even the latin root for Valentine is valen which means noble, worthy, or other derivations say strong or healthy. Think valiant or valuable. It feels like so much of Valentine’s Day is reckoning of value.
Here’s the deal: you’re far too interesting to base your worth on having a Valentine. Go and celebrate what makes you feel entirely yourself in the best way. If that’s karaoke, smashing stuff with a friend, or doing something else entirely wholesome (eg. rewatching Pride & Prejudice with a cup of tea), do your thing babes. You’ve got this. Happy Valentines Day xx
AWNY | Australian Women in New York 